Life always picks up...

Usually not in the way you expect it. Certainly not with a particular, universal method, either.

[ Warning: This post may contain surreal imagery, and make you think that I'm a complete and total nutjob. Please understand that I am. ]

This week will prove to be trying. A support in my superstructure that I've come to rely upon has other weights to bear. Part of building something with, and through your life is the requirement that you share the load. This one is particularly difficult for me to reach out and share, but I will always constantly do my best. They know this - I can feel that, and draw strength from the understanding. The distracting part is the constant feeling of having been sundered. It's easier to deal with than I thought - but I suppose that's what this understanding is supposed to do to you.

I'm at work, as I've missed two days and needed to play catch-up. It's not been fun. In waiting and watching progress bars, I stumbled across an Adama speech that gave me.. hope? Is that the right word? No. Resolve.

"This is the Admiral. You've heard the news - you know the mission. You should also know there's only one way this mission ends; and that's with the successful rescue of our people off of New Caprica. Look around you. Take a good look at the men and women that stand next to you. Remember their faces, for one day you will tell your children and grandchildren that you served with such men and women as the universe has never seen, and together you accomplished a feat that will be told and retold down through the ages, and find immortality as only the Gods once knew. I am proud to serve with you. Good hunting."

I'm doing nothing special in any of this, but it's nice to know that even somewhere in fiction exists a character who can appreciate having someone to rely upon. To mutually reach out and touch, and be touched in return. Mentally, physically, emotionally. It's galvanizing.

I can close my eyes, and let calm wash over me. Occasionally with a laugh. Sortof that same dumbstruck 'wow-you-look-like-a-retard' smile I've grown so used to. Because I understand that that's the mindset I must maintain to accomplish my goal: to find the edge, and to go further than I have ever before, because that is what is required of me.

Of Virtual Servers, and images, and laptops, and networking equipment? Of quotas, and market goals, and time-to-production? It sounds great, but none of it matters in the end. It's all just auto-pilot for me, now, for some reason. The higher brain is preoccupied with the analog.

And, really... damn... analog never looked so good.